Have you ever been engaged in a conversation where shortly after it ended you wished it would have gone differently? You would have used different words?
Likely.
I prefer writing. I prefer having the time to formulate what I want to say. It allows me to choose my words precisely to say exactly what I want to convey. Writing is different than engaging in conversations. When you write you are able to edit, adjust and think very carefully about what you want to say before you press “publish”. Each week, before I post this, I will go through numerous drafts to say exactly what I want to say.
Conversations are different. 
When you enter into conversations you need to be able to think on your feet. There is the give and take of responding to the other person based on what they say to you without a lot of time to think through your response. And sometimes you come away from your conversation wishing you had never said what you did – or wishing you would have responded in a much different manner.
In talking with someone yesterday, they told me how they found themselves in a conversation they didn’t know how to get out of. The longer it went on the harder and more uncomfortable they were feeling without knowing how to escape from it. They were trying to figure out what to say, but they were at a loss. They had no idea how to respond or what to say next. After the fact though, they were able to think of things they could have said – but in the moment – that is a different story.
This helped me. The person is very much an extrovert – someone who loves to talk and has no difficulty expressing themselves – most of the time at least. So if they at times struggled then…
It helped me.
Yesterday I did an interview, several actually, but one in particular. I have done a number of them over the years, but this one was a little different. It was considerably longer and was more of a conversation than your typical interview format.
Going into it I had a sense of what it was going to be asked and I knew some of what I wanted to focus on. But, the conversation started out differently than I expected. It got right into the issues as opposed to letting ease in and define myself.
I felt a little off guard right off the bat. You probably can’t notice. I wasn’t panicking but I wasn’t as comfortable as I thought I would be. As the interview went on there were several areas where my responses were what I wanted to convey. But there were a couple where I am not sure my answers were how I would respond on paper – given the chance to write them out as opposed to trying to responding “on the fly”.
When the 30 minutes was up, I walked away feeling “okay” but not “great” about what I had just shared. I thought of words, better ones, I could have used to respond to some of topics we talked about. And at the same time I was reminded of the instructions of Jesus.
As Jesus was conversing with His closest followers, they were curious about the future and what was going to take place. Amoung other things, Jesus spoke of a time when they would be accused of, challenged and brought to trial because of their faith. The consequences could be life threatening.
Under those circumstances you would want to be prepared. You want to have the right words for your defense to ensure you conveyed exactly what you need to say. Instead though, Jesus said this…
11 But when you are arrested and stand trial, don’t worry in advance about what to say. Just say what God tells you at that time, for it is not you who will be speaking, but the Holy Spirit. Mark 13:11 (NLT)
Jesus revealed to them that God, the Holy Spirit, is in the midst of our lives. It is the most important part of this. He also conveys how we may not know what to say, but He does. Our priority is to listen to His voice and yield to His leading as we speak, as we allow Him to speak through us.
Notice Jesus did not say “don’t prepare” for what you will say. He said, “don’t worry” about what you will say. In other words, don’t become anxious about what you are trying to convey but instead allow the Holy Spirit to be the one who guides your words.
And then when you are done… trust.
We tend to dwell on what we would have changed. After these kind of conversations our focus is often not on the many things we said which were impactful, but the one phrase we would have altered.
But at the end of the day, it is the Holy Spirit who brings to life the words we speak. That is, providing He is the One we are yielding our voice to.
So as we go through our day today and the many conversations we may have, remember Jesus’ words.
Reflection 